Skecher Shape Up Shoes

Funny joke? ♥♥?

rose — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 04:06:49 +0000

Question by ♥JLB♥: Funny joke? ♥♥?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s.

He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,

“I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”.

“What type of bra?”, asked the clerk.

“Type?”, inquired the man “There is more than one type?”.

“Look Around.”, said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

“Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only
three types of bras.”, replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked,

“Only three? What are they?”.

The saleslady replied “The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army
type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?”.

Still confused the man asked

“What is the difference between them?”.

The lady responded

“It is quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the
Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type
makes mountains out of mole hills.”.

Best answer:

Answer by lovin_potc_4evr
cute

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What do you think of my writing? Would you read on?

rose — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:47:47 +0000

Question by : What do you think of my writing? Would you read on?
The doctor wheeled a young girl in who was unable to speak or hear the words around her that were spoken. The doctor, a man around thirty, with dark hair and forest green eyes, was puzzled by the little girl. It was impossible that she was over four years of age. His brain traveled great lengths to try and heal the girl, but no matter what, he failed.

Her parents were devastated, not even able to name the child until she was healed because of an old superstition. The young girl had never heard her parents speak or been able to murmur the words “I love you,” in her young father’s ear. They figured it was best to let the child die, but the doctor had another plan in mind.

“I’ll call a man,” he told the parents. “I can guarantee he can heal her, but more than likely, she will not return to see either of you for a very long time.”

After a long time of exchanged glances and puzzled looks, the parents finally agreed, and the doctor mailed Clide Jameson, a specialist. A week passed, and the parents were still at their dying child’s bedside. The doctor came in to check up on them followed by a flamboyant man with a blonde ponytail, the most expensive trousers on the market, and a blue cape strutted in. He had to be one of the most rich people the family had ever seen, leaving them in slight intimidation.

“Th-This is the specialist?” asked the mother. The little girl’s eyes perked and a smile placed itself upon her lips for what seemed the first time in years.

“Hello, young people. I am Clide Jameson, owner of the Jameson Orphanage for Children, a Duke, and also, specialist in every child in every shape and size. So what is the problem with your little Angel?”

“Well, she is only four, and still cannot speak, and cannot hear a word anybody says,” said the father.

Clide was already over by her bedside, peering into those teal eyes she possessed and wrapping his fingers around her chocolate brown curls of tangled hair. “What is her name?”

The parents looked down in guilt. “She has none,” they said in unison, and Clide smirked.

“I’ll tell you what,” said Clide. “I’ll fix her up good and well, under a few conditions. I get to name her. She comes to stay with me at my orphanage. And lastly, most importantly, her soul is mine to keep.”

By this time, both of the little girl’s parents were in tears, yet they nodded in unison, wanting their child to have all of her senses. Clide grinned.

“Good, now, Little Angele, look at me.” With amazement and joy, the child looked straight at Clide. “Now, Angele, tell me Hello.”

A sing-songy voice escaped the little girl’s lips as she said the words, leaving the entire room, other than Clide, in amazement. He took Angele’s hand and began to walk her out of the room, not even taking the time to allow her to look at her parents again. She was with him now, and nobody could do a bloody thing to stop it.
This is a bit of a prologue. I am fifteen and have written a book, but never published.

Best answer:

Answer by Lady Dynamite
It definitely made me read on, but I think you should cut down the describtions a bit.

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BRAaa!!!!!!!!!?

rose — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 15:25:56 +0000

Question by callmegirl: BRAaa!!!!!!!!!?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s and shyly walked
up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for
my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

“Type?” inquires the man, “There’s more than one type?”

“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every
shape, size, color and material imaginable.

Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of
bras to choose from.

Relieved, the man asked about the types! . The sales lady replied:

“There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the
Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?”

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between
them.

The Saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple…

The Catholic type supports the masses.

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright,

The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.”

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are
the letters used to define bra cup sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters
stood for? It is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs…
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can’t Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up !

They forgot the German bra.

Holtzemfromfloppen
if u think it is nice give me a star pls

Best answer:

Answer by ashy:D
ha first time i heard a bra joke! a star is born *

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Not quite sure about this, waddaya think?

rose — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:04:32 +0000

Question by Phukc the world and everyone in it: Not quite sure about this, waddaya think?
Ok, it’s a lot of writing, but it’s a full chapter I have written. I know I threw you into it and it needs some work, but overall, would it be something you would read? thanks for any praise criticism, or whatever you choose to do with this.
“He’ll be fine, but I need to rest again.” said Raine, “He was very wise to come to you for help, Rowan.”
“Isn’t that why they are called wise wolves?” I asked.
“I suppose so.” and she slumped to the ground next to a large pine tree.
I walked over to Fenrir, who started wagging his long tail in excitment, and scratched his ears. He licked my face with his wet tongue and touched his head to mine.
“Take me with you, sister. I like these people, and I can warn you of danger. I’ll even hunt for you if you ask me to do so.”
I shook my head, “We can’t, Fenrir.” I spoke without moving my mouth, “You wouldn’t be able to go with us the whole way.”
“Prithee, take me, I will gaurd you with my life!” he insisted.
“Fine, I will ask but I cannot garuntee anything. And please, brother, speak like us.” So I did. I told the others what Fenrir wanted and explained that he would hopefully understand if we said no. To my surprise, they all agreed to let him come with us. Fenrir was ecstatic when I told him the news. The young wolf beneath the wise shell came out for a moment and he ran around, barking with joy. We all laughed at the sight and he cocked his head in wonder which made us laugh more.
We slept through the rest of the night which turned out to only be three hours. Fenrir lay next to me and Hawtheorn on the snowy ground.
When the sun came up, Fenrir had disappeared. We had just finished packing our things when he returned with a large, red fox hanging from his jaws.
“Breakfast!” he announced. Everyone was greatful for the fox after it had been roasted over a fire Raine had conjured—no one had realized how hungry they were until then. The poor creature was devoured quickly and Fenrir gnawed on the bones.
Within an hour we were off, trekking across the forests of Canada, for what reason I still didn’t fully understand.
As we walked, I spoke to Fenrir, “Where are we, brother?”
He peered at me with deep, amber eyes, “We are just southeast of the road. We should head a bit more east if we are to get to flying thunder territory.”
I gave him a look, “Flying thunder territory?”
“The large flying metal things. They eat people and then regurgitate them after a few days.” he shuddered, “Humans have odd ways of passing time.”
I laughed, “You mean airplanes. They don’t eat people, Fenrir, they move them.”
He continued to look confused.
“Humans are still odd.” he stated. He wandered over to Skylar to be scratched behind the ears.
We made it to the empty, ice-covered road and started walking alongside it. A car or two passed us but nothing big enough to take all of us to the airport. We came to a dangerously sharp turn on the road that dropped off on the left side about forty feet. The barricade on the open side was rusted and wouldn’t have a chance of stopping anything going faster than twenty miles per hour. Ayden, being the little kid that he was, decided to run and look over the side, returning with a green, sickly face. He ran to his sister and held her tight.
“What’s wrong?” asked Raine.
“I think someone just died.” he replied morosely.
We all looked at eachother and rushed to the barricade. Raine gasped and I just about fell over the side from shock. A black pile of crumpled metal layed at the bottom of the drop. It wasn’t even a describable shape. There was a very faint redness on the snow next to the destroyed car.
“Oh, man,” I said, “How does that even happen?”
“God, that looks bad!” Skye whispered.
“Look at the barricade,” Raine pointed at a part of it that was completely ripped away from the road.
“Where’s Fenrir going?” Hawtheorn randomly shouted.
Fenrir had hopped over the barricade and was hopping from ledge to ledge on the side of the cliff. He then nimbly lept to the ground and started sniffing as he walked to the mass of metal. I sensed what he was smelling through his thoughts.
“Come on guys,” and I leapt over the barricade and started to follow Fenrir’s path down the cliff face. The others managed to follow after me, and when we got down, Hawtheorn shocked my right shoulder.
“Umm,” I said, “Ow.” I was annoyed at his electrical powers, but more annoyed that he was trying to stop me.
“Are you insane?” he asked. His dark blonde hair was messy from rushing after me.
“Fenrir smells blood,” I answered, “Warm blood.”
He let go of my shoulder and we immediately started searching the car for any sign o
i am really sorry about not putting the whole thing up. the website cut me off at 5000 words. the protagonist is female and her name is Rowan. this is the tenth chapter and, again, i know it needs work. just let me know if you would continue to read more of it. Thanks!

Best answer:

Answer by Emma
It’s really good! is this the first chapter because i dont get if the protagonist is a girl or boy or what his/ her names is or where they are. otherwise it is really really good! and i know u probably already noticed but u didn’t finish the sentence at the end :-]

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Q&A: How do you view the roles of males and females?

rose — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 02:40:49 +0000

Question by : How do you view the roles of males and females?
On the search for any majoritable sense i’ve speculated/gotten ideas of “intrinsic roles” of the Woman and the Man.

1. Women are mentally higher on the evolutionary chain than men. proving that adhering to emotions (to let your mind guide you and be tended to, rather than ignoring it with “tough man logic” (’shut up, go to work, bench this much, your going to the army pussy!’) is the clearer path humanity is taking. so men are the “animals” and women, given their higher evolution are “here” to tame the man. to find one they choose or feel a mate is “the one” to benefit well, evolution disguise as their mate. also why a female appreciates a man raised by a “good”/like minded/admired mother. kinda like a “thanks now my job is easier!” thing.

this is contradicted by men being “bigger, stronger” and more stereotyped with muscles. showing their more likely survival rate.

2. the opposite.. Men are higher evolutionary, and are here to give their woman the strength and security she lacks (animalistically why women admire/look for the strength/dominance in a male) (with the “meaning of life” to benefit his wife and family, evolutionary, which concerns all shapes of well-being)

this could be contradicted with #1-letting your emotions guide you, when tried, will be an undeniably better route to existence.

and won’t “make you gay” unless you are and would kill before disappointing your sergeant of a father. once you try you’ll realize things about yourself you’ve never known and will genuinely be more tuned to reading others (which any female wouldn’t mind on those satin sheets of hers) and live far more fulfilling life (yea, personal much, right?) bahaa

3. men and women are just, as they are. god took an ape, cloned it, laid them both on the table, cut a slit in between the legs and said “wait! what if i pull out some of the insides on the other one to make a thing to then go back inside the one with only a slit!” ahh. like returning home, right? then a conquest of life (wouldn’t chalk it up to “meaning”) is for men to find their “home” and women to find the..outside version of her home.

4. people are here. some are v’s, some are p’s. there’s manly women and feminine men and it’s all about find the right combination for you, your other half, no matter what you are, what you do, who you do, how you act etc.

i let the stereotypes influence the earlier theories because you gotta wonder, why do men major in testosterone and why do women major in estrogen? what do the extreme models of both sexes differentiate in? you gota take examples at the extreme ends of the spectrum to find the most character/behavioral differences.

..and why is “woman” comprised “woe” and “man”…..

5.) Women were sent to earth on a disguised mission to corrupt the future existence of Man. Damn you females and your dark magic warm wet insides!

my hope in posting this is not to offend, rather to give my honest opinions and hear yours.
yahoo please don’t delete my account, i love you.

Best answer:

Answer by M-Just M
I agree with # 4.

Gender roles should be descriptive, not prescriptive. While it’s not inaccurate to sat that there are differences between the average man and the average woman, nobody is completely masculine or completely feminine. Encouraging a man to act more like the average man or a woman to act more like the average woman, simply because of their gender, is not productive. It’s confining, and keeps the man/woman from using their talents and pursuing their interests to the best of their abilities.

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Why is there lack of sex drive from my g/f when I DON’T ignore her?

rose — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 20:20:16 +0000

Question by M S: Why is there lack of sex drive from my g/f when I DON’T ignore her?
Messed up I know, but true. I’m 30, btw, NOT 15. If I don’t talk to her almost all day (because of work, fixing up my house, or what not) she’ll be all affectionate and really want sex and kissing.

But if I even contact her as much as she contacts me during the day she won’t do more than hold hands and give a distant gaze as if she feels sorry for me. She also rolls to the other side of the bed at night (which even a month ago she’d never do)…even when she’s most often the one who didn’t brush her teeth before bed.

She’s also very critical at those times, often even telling me I’m doing a lousy job at, say, painting the ceiling (which she has no clue how to do) or cooking (in the same way I did the day before when she said it tasted great) and saying “isn’t it too risky to do that?” about things she’s seen me do well not just once but many times.

This is pretty bizarre considering my fitness, attention span, job…are all better than when I first met her 5 years ago (when I was already in good shape) and she had NONE of these issues. Granted, she’s in better shape as well (lost weight recently under my request for health reasons b/c of back pains and such) but it’s not like she’s in better shape than I am (I’m a competitive runner, she’s mildly overweight…though she doesn’t eat badly at all just has a naturally slow metabolism).

I also start to wonder (especially since we’ve been trying for kids) if she’s looking for an excuse to cheat so she can get “better genes” for the baby…is that somewhat normal? No clue how/why that works…I actually got my fertility tested and got excellent ratings across the board…

Obviously I HAVE tried talking to her, of course she just gives the usual “everything is fine” and I just leave it at “If there’s something I can do better you should let me know otherwise I can’t do anything” and still no answer.

It’s just scary…I can’t just relax and enjoy myself, it seems, because, with her, I seem to need to constantly play hard to get…perhaps to “prove to her I’m not a wuss and am a real man?!” Or is this how women typically treat their boyfriends when there is another man in the picture (and, if so, how can I help make sure she does not see anything in said man she can’t see in me…figuring that would mean the relationship problem is hers not his)?

I just don’t want to end up being the typical loser husband-type figure…I’m not a weak or useless person or a bum or unable to please sexually and sure as —- don’t deserve to be treated like one.
Before I get harassed about this any more…we agreed maybe 3 years ago both that neither of us want to get married and that we did want kids. There are many people who drink/smoke/cheat/neglect kids/worse whether married or not…I do none of the above.
If anyone is going to judge me on my so called “responsibility/ethic”, they should judge me on what I do for/with her and not what they “think I will not do”. Bug me about marriage (which the question does NOT concern) and I will have you flagged for off-topic abuse/ranting.

Best answer:

Answer by kpopp
You need to visit a sex therapist.

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Dream meaning question?

rose — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:00:16 +0000

Question by : Dream meaning question?
first off sorry for my english its not my native language,if you don’t understand something tell me
I had this dream today,it was really intense and adventurous
I’ll try to remember most of things and write them down here from beginning to the end
-First I was in my home but it felt weird its hard to remember this but iI remember that some objects were on other places than they normally are
-then it was really strange I don’t know why but I packed my clothes to 1 bag and I left my house
-I was in location similar to city (maybe in future Im not really sure about this one)
-I had nowhere to go so I went to some building by back doors(these doors are there again later)and I left my bag there I think
-Then I remember going on public restrooms and washing hands I think(I think that’s because I was really thirsty when I woke up)
-When I was about to leave it some girl/woman opened the door(I think she was like 18-26 and I told her this is men’s rooms (I know weird lol) and she was like stopped and talking to me maybe blushing I’m not exactly sure
-It was like I had nowhere to go and then we went somewhere to some store or something and she had her own bodyguard or something meant she was rich and I think she wanted me to fight for her like some underground fights I don’t know lol
-Then we went outside that building and on the street was 2 or 3 “police men” which was clearly after me so I tried to run off(they had weird weapons which are hard to describe but they looked like some broom shaped vibrant maces (I know hard to imagine I guess lol)
-Weird was their clothes were similar to french police men(blue shirts and that symbolic hat and it was in not too distant future I think because I looked bit older (now im 17 and i looked like 20-25)
-Ok so they chased me really hard and I they were really pain in a** they were shooting at me with some kind of pistols that shot acorns I think but I managed to run but then they chased me from all sides and I climbed on wall/pillar or something and they were hitting my legs with their strange vibrant weapons lol then I woke up
-Notable information,before I entered the restrooms I undressed my t-shirt and I had larger muscles(Not extremely but maybe twice as,I think it was because I was older but don’t know
that is all,thank you all who read it and answer

Best answer:

Answer by Joe
This type of dream basically means you’re unfulfilled lately in whatever you’re doing. (bored)

Terribly bored, so your brain is showing you a crazy movie to excite you, basically: you’re not getting the crazy adventure from life, so you’re getting it in your dreams.

So try to do something different, to find an adventure in something.

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What do you think of this part of my story?

rose — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 07:37:50 +0000

Question by Lena: What do you think of this part of my story?
I smelled smoke.
My nose was burning, and I couldn’t breathe. And then suddenly, a searing pain filled me, making my head spin. It felt like I was on fire.
I opened my eyes, but I could see was a grayish black. Trying to ignore the pain, I rolled over onto my back. I could see bits of the sky her and there, but I couldn’t tell if it was morning or the beginning of night. I saw no moon.
I heard footsteps, and they stopped about a foot from my head.
“Don’t worry. You’re going to be okay.”
My head whipped around, making my muscles scream out in pain, but I didn’t see anything.
“It’s alright. I won’t hurt you.”
A figure bent down next to me and stroked my hair with freezing cold fingers. Then, the figure started to whisper in my ear. Every now and then, the pain would return, and I would scream loud enough to pierce my own ears.
The smoke was fading. I could see the figure more clearly now, and it took the shape of a man, hunched over me, with silvery blue eyes that almost glowed. He continued to whisper to me, in a voice like velvet.
I remembered nothing he said.

When I first heard the siren, I thought I was imagining it. But then I saw the red and blue lights racing toward me. The ambulance screeched to a halt.
A door slammed, and a woman rushed to my side. “Sweetie, sweetie, everything’s going to be fine.” She looked over her shoulder at the ambulance and shouted, “Eric! Get the stretcher!” She put a hand on my forehead. “You’re cold as ice,” she murmured, then yelled for someone to get a blanket.
As they loaded me into the stretcher, I suddenly thought of the man. “Wait!” I cried out hoarsely. “There was someone else. A man.”
“There’s no one else out there,” a boy at my right said. I assumed he must be Eric. He looked to be no older than nineteen, maybe twenty, with dirty blond hair that covered his eyes.
I sat up as best I could underneath the straps, and, before they pushed me down again, I realized that the boy was right. No one was there.
I was alone. Even among all these people who were trying to help, I was alone. And the pain was getting worse. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run out of this ambulance that was speeding down an unfamiliar highway and keep going until I was away from everyone and everything. No one could help me. No one could possibly make everything okay, even though they promised they would. That boy, Eric, would tell me over and over, “We’re going to help you, just you wait. You’re going to be fine.” He was a nice boy, and I knew he meant well, but they were just words. They had no meaning.
We arrived at the hospital in no time. They opened the doors, carried me out of the ambulance, then pushed me into the hospital. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the brightness, and everything around me was too clean.
They rolled me around a corner, and there was a lot of yelling. Suddenly, I was surrounded.
The doctors and nurses crowded around me, as if trying to figure out whether or not they should boil me, bake me, or just eat me raw. I felt like a bug under a microscope the whole time.
“Do you know what happened?” one doctor asked.
I searched in my head for something, but there was nothing.
“What’s your name?”
I shook my head. There just seemed to be something missing inside of me. Something broken that they couldn’t fix.
The doctors continued to ask me questions, none of which I could answer. Most of them were something along the lines of, “Who are you?” or, “What happened to you?”, or even, “Do you know where you are?” That one was obvious, I was in a hospital. But I had no idea if I was in Canada, California, or South Korea! Apparently, it didn’t really matter to the doctors, because they didn’t tell me, but it was just something else I didn’t remember. Another part of me that was broken.
That’s when I knew what was missing: everything. My mind was just a huge, black hole. My entire life had been sucked away into some dark abyss, and there was no getting it back.

Critique as much as you like. I would like your opinion, as well. Do you like it, hate it, do you have suggestions?

Thanks in advance!
Yeah, I know, it’s not perfect. I did make a lot of mistakes, sorry about that. I haven’t edited it yet. I might change a couple things, too. Like the whole “and” thing. I realized I do use it too much. I’ll go back and fix it later. Right now, I just want to know what people think of the story.

Best answer:

Answer by Hammy
I really like it, I think this is exciting. apart from the few typing errors which I won’t take too much notice of it was great.

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Does he care for any of these women or is he just a 100% user?

rose — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 01:17:37 +0000

Question by Lisa: Does he care for any of these women or is he just a 100% user?
I wanted to get inside this ‘players’ mind. Sort of a social experiment I offered to help hook him up with lots of women. They all go thu me tho since he does not have a phone or computer right now. SO…I see everything that goes on. Plus he tells me. He takes one girls car to go to a motel with another one..then borrows $ 50 from one to pay ANOTHER one back . Stuff like that. And then they get in fights on facebook saying “he’s my man. HES JUST USING U!” When he’s obviously using all of them lol. But to me he talks pretty highly of most of them! So…he is using them BUT does he like them too? Only thing that bothers me is it’s like pulling teeth to get him to admit to me he sleeps with them ha. I alread know . Also he must be TELLING all these girls “I am ur man” or they would not get so bent out of shape and cat fight about it

Best answer:

Answer by Puprle Purple
You will never get to the “bottom” of him.

Give your answer to this question below!

does a man like this love any woman or have any genuine feelings for them?

rose — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:58:14 +0000

Question by : does a man like this love any woman or have any genuine feelings for them?
I wanted to get inside this ‘players’ mind. Sort of a social experiment I offered to help hook him up with lots of women. They all go thu me tho since he does not have a phone or computer right now. SO…I see everything that goes on. Plus he tells me. He takes one girls car to go to a motel with another one..then borrows $ 50 from one to pay ANOTHER one back . Stuff like that. And then they get in fights on facebook saying “he’s my man. HES JUST USING U!” When he’s obviously using all of them lol. But to me he talks pretty highly of most of them! So…he is using them BUT does he like them too? Only thing that bothers me is it’s like pulling teeth to get him to admit to me he sleeps with them ha. I alread know . Also he must be TELLING all these girls “I am ur man” or they would not get so bent out of shape and cat fight about it .But he tells me he doesn’t

Best answer:

Answer by bert
maybe try the experiment and see what unfolds

Give your answer to this question below!